


The Road Trip.

by bend_me_shape_me



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Road Trips, Season/Series 14, Season/Series 14 Spoilers, mostly angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 08:43:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17056559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bend_me_shape_me/pseuds/bend_me_shape_me
Summary: Coda to 14x09.





	The Road Trip.

**Author's Note:**

> Coda to 14x09.

‘’Son of a bitch!’’ Dean fumbles around trying to get the tape deck to work. Cas stares, amused. ‘’Well, this is going to be a no-music trip, Cas.’’ **  
**

‘’I can sing to you.’’ Dean snorts, for anyone else Cas was totally serious about it, but he knows the angel, the barely-there smile on his lips telling him it’s a joke. He starts the car, the trip is not that long, so he will survive without music, plus he is with Cas, they can talk for hours or just sit down in comfortable silence.

‘’No thanks, buddy, I have heard you singing in the shower and it’s terrible.’’ Cas looks at him, with mocked anger, making Dean laugh again. Cas smiles softly, his heart always beats faster when he hears that laugh. He feels so light, right now and here.

‘’We can be heroes, just for one day.’’

‘’I will kick you out of the car, Cas.’’ The angel raises his hands in surrender, he gets comfortable in the well-known leather seat, staring out of the window, ready to enjoy this moment of closeness to Dean, ignoring the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Dean can’t help but hum the song, tapping his fingers against the wheel, from time to time. They keep the playful banter up for a couple of minutes, soon a silence settling in the car, each of them lost in their own thoughts.

After a while, Cas turns his head, he stares at Dean’s profile, he looks so relaxed here, his shoulder not so tense anymore, just driving, the loom of a world threaten forgotten for a moment, they are just Dean and Cas, old friends in a car trip, the road ahead all that they can see, Cas wishes this trip could last forever, or just a couple more hours.

He wishes they didn’t have a destination, a mission, he wishes everything was different, easier for them, they have suffered enough, but it never seems to reach an end.

He wants to tell Dean, he wants to tell him about his deal.  

He knows Dean has the right to know, but he can’t, he won’t, because he knows Dean is going to be angry, he knows the look for a solution will consume him, he wants to protect him, he wants to delay the despair, the pain all he can. It’s not an easy burden to carry over his shoulders, alone, but he can’t deal with the thought of seeing again what he saw in Dean’s eyes after he killed Billie.

He just wants to enjoy this moment of peace, the calm around them.   
They talk about everything they can think of, nothing important, nothing too pressing, Cas is thankful for that.

They have missed each other, they remember things together, sometimes they can believe ten years have gone by since they met, they can’t believe they are here now, together. They laugh, too, at their stories, and at Dean’s terrible attempts at jokes, Cas shakes his head fondly after each one, he is always surprised by the thought of being more and more in love with Dean with each passing day, with each little gesture, he is always wrong when he thinks he can’t love Dean more, always.

They stop at a gas station at some point, Cas refuses to check the hour, he doesn’t care, he doesn’t want to know how few moments are left to share with Dean.

He sees Dean flailing his arm, gesturing at him from the store, he walks inside,curious about what the excitement is all about. Dean has a big goofy smile on his face, in his hand two candy canes.

‘’It’s christmas, Cas.’’ He pays for them and for the gas, quickly leaving the little store, unwrapping his sweet in the way to the car and giving Cas the other one.

Cas can’t say anything, he won’t say anything.

He feels the warm light of the sun on his face, as warm as the content feeling he has in his chest, he wonder if this is what he is going to feel right before saying goodbye, he will miss it, he will miss Dean when all that surrounds him is the cold darkness.

‘’Cas, hey!’’ He blinks a couple times. ‘’Dude, I’m trying to talk to you.’’

‘’Sorry, Dean, are we there yet?’’ Dean shakes his head.

‘’No, not yet. I was telling you about a sign I saw, it was a rest area, maybe it would be nice to come here some time.’’ Cas nods, the view sure is beautiful.

‘’I would love that.’’ His voice is weak, he sounds sad, he knows, Dean side eyes him, noticing the change in his voice.

‘’Are you okay?’’ Tell him, tells a little voice in his head. He nods instead, putting on a  smile he hopes is convincing enough.

‘’I’m just sad we don’t have any music, to be honest.’’ Dean huffs at that. Cas reaches out with his hand, patting Dean’s knee a couple times.” I enjoy it a lot when you sing to that song of the guns and the roses.’’ He says it wrong, just to mess with Dean, the air in the car turns light again. Dean rolls his eyes at him.

He feels pain, when Dean talks about the future, about what he thinks they could do together, about movies to watch, music to listen, foods to try, places to visit,

‘’Sure you have seen everything, but it would be nice.’’ Dean doesn’t seem to understand that everything is better for Cas when he is there, by his side, no matter if it’s something as simple as going to the supermarket, or a road trip.

Cas aches for the future he isn’t going to see, he aches for the pain he is going to cause to those he loves, he hopes they can find happiness without him here, he hopes they take care of one another when he isn’t around to do it for himself. He aches for the missed opportunities, he wonder what would happen if he moved forward right now, if he kissed Dean like he has always wanted to do, he wonders if he would have to go, pay his debt, in that exact moment.

His train of thoughts is cut off when the car stops, Dean stretches besides him.

‘’We are here.’’ He doesn’t make a move to get out of the car, neither does Cas. Dean takes a deep breathe and he finally looks at Cas, smiling gently at him.’’This was nice, Cas.’’ Without thinking twice about it he puts his hand over Cas’, tensing for a moment until Cas’ free hand covers his own.’’I’m glad to have you around, even if you sing terribly.’’ Cas, tries really hard to blink the tears he can feel forming in his eyes away, he lowers his gaze staring at their joined hands, squeezing lightly.

‘’Yeah, Dean, it was great, I’m glad to be around, too.’’

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so emotional, Cas deserves better, we deserve better too.   
> Hope you liked it! ❤


End file.
